What is money? Where does it come from and what is it worth and what are we even supposed to do with it? Sure, money is easier to
when it comes in small increments. Like, I know that two bucks is worth
about one and a half packs of Starbursts. But if we're talking about
more than, say, 85 dollars cash American, that's not even an amount of
money anymore, that's just a concept.
You know? Money is weird and it only gets weirder when there's a lot of
it. But here is a story about a lot of money that you may find
interesting, mostly because it involves Solange beating up Jay Z in an elevator.
That whole incident came to light because some very unprofessional
employee of The Standard Hotel in NYC held up a camera phone to a
security monitor and the rest is TMZ click-bait history. First of all,
just FYI, that very unprofessional employee was fired from The Standard,
you should know that right now. Here's the hotel's official statement.
I don't think anybody will dispute that that employee deserved to be
fired. But if you were that employee, exactly how much remorse could you
possibly be feeling about your rule-floutin' considering you'd sold the
footage to TMZ for $250,000?
So yeah, strikethrough that earlier mention of "unprofessional" and
write "enterprising" in its place. Was this act of footage-ganking
immoral and shady? Yes, of course. Was it also maybe a modern-day
Horatio Alger story about a quick-thinking rascal seizing an opportunity
and walking away with cash-lined pockets? Yes as well. According to
Page Six, this unnamed entrepreneur "shopped the footage around for five
days before selling it to TMZ." Five days
of making phone calls and then pulling in a quarter of a million
dollars sure beats staring at security monitors for 6 years, right?
Guys, look, I'm not endorsing breaking laws or defaming celebs or
anything like that, but still. $250,000! That is SO MANY packs of
Starburst. I'm honestly sort of impressed? Deal with it, Olivia Wilde.